::WWW.FISTOFFUN.NET:: A Celebration Of Mediocrity. Richard Herring & Stewart Lee Archive.

FIST OF FUN SERIES ONE, SHOW THREE - BROADCAST 25th April 1995

This week, the crates don't house Stew & Rich, they hold Stew & the gimp from Pulp Fiction.
The gimp escapes & is chased before the mistake is rectified & Rich is with us. They kick off proceedings with a letter of complaint from Mrs J Wentall in regards to last week's Jesus parable and their dealings with religion in general. Mrs Wentall tells Rich & Stew that they display a "woeful ignorance of true christian belief, I wonder if you'd dare to broadcast something in the same vein, but targeting a travesty of the islamic faith.

"...woeful ignorance of true christian belief..."

Stew points out that although they may be atheists, they are not stupid and like the use of their hands, and the ability to breathe.

They also had letters of complaint about Stew's Somerset-bashing - this inevitably leads to more abuse of Rich's county folk and into a sketch involving "Ian & Jenny" moving into their new home & being greeted in slightly worrying detail by their new neighbours on Ringfield Road.

High surveillance ruins their life in one short afternoon as their overbearing neighbours reveal the minute detail of their life & show hidden camera footage of a marriage-wrecking affair.

On returning to the Studio, Stew shows the audience his Wixney Junior School photo (which later made it into the Fist Of Fun book) and Rich seems disappointed that his childhood friend Steve Cheek doesn't want to go down to Cheddar Gorge & drink cider with him whenever he rings him up.

Reluctantly, Stew agrees to go cider drinking with him after the show, prompting an infantile Wurzels impression from Rich, while Stew points out that sooner or later you will outgrow your friends. This offends Richard, and links into the first "Captain Oates" sketch

Rich then goes on to complain that his flat has become overrun by mice in the preceding week, and points out the dilemma he's in as a result of being a vegetarian (like Morrissey & Hitler) and therefore unable to condone the murder of mice.

A "Pied Piper" parody explains what he did to rid himself of the scurrilous mice.

John Thompson appears once again, this time as the Piper, who offers to rid Rich of the mice. He plays his magic pipe, leads the mice out into the road..... and under the tires of a passing van.

Simon Quinlank returns with another hobby that you might like to try. This week's hobby is called "Arse Rubbing".
For this week's hobby, you will need lots of thin white paper, some charcoal or crayons, a guide to country churches, some weak lemon drink, and at least one hand. You are then ready to travel the land finding reverends who don't mind having their arses rubbed. This hobby is better than bark or brass rubbing because they are the same every time you rub them, whilst over a period of years a vicar's arse will change in subtle ways.

Peter then joins the show with recipes for Airline curry, and a number of legal drugs - including simulating the confidence boost you get off some drugs by going and looking at something you know you're better than, like a spider - but you have to be careful with a spider in case it does something it's better at than you, like making a web or something.
You could also get the effect of cannabis by smoking a cigarette in a warm bath before standing up really quickly, or be rushed to hospital by spitting in the hard man from the Bedford Arms pub in Balham's beer.
Pete finishes his segment with "3 month Cheescake".

Rich then points out that he could have done Peter's bits if he'd wanted too - and that he'd have been really good at it too. This prompts Stew into
labeling him a "Captain Oates figure" and we see the aforementioned explorer making a fool of himself at the dinner table. Back in the Studio, Rich is eating "Banana Bubbles" - the cereal that thinks it's a milkshake. He is impressed in their ability to think above anything else, and this leads to talk of the Imagination, and the strong sense of imagination that John Lennon must have had to be able to write "Imagine", and to think that Yoko Ono was in some way attractive or talented.

They are interrupted by the Pulp Fiction gimp who bursts through the Studio unannounced, chased by two BBC men.
So Stew heads into the audience to ask them about their imaginary friends. Sue Perkins tells us of her imaginary friend - the scientist Michael Farraday, who manifests himself as a Lamb-Lion and doesn't really like electricity. Ben Moor talks about Jeremy Charleston, his imaginary friend, who works as a civil servant in Whitehall.

Sadly a poor choice for an imaginary friend, as he can't be blamed for anything because everybody knows he'd never do anything silly. Stew hallucinates& sees Harvey Inkbarrow, the rabbit boy from his school, in the audience, and Rich overacts in a Manga style when he sees the ghosts of the mice that were killed by the Pied Piper in the audience.

After pronouncing that "this programme could look as ridiculous in ten years time as the Glam Metal Detectives does now" Rich & Stew climb back into their crates for another week, but with a squeak from the Piper's flute, Rich soon has the company of mice in his crate.