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FIST OF FUN SERIES TWO, SHOW SIX - BROADCAST 22nd March 1996

Rod Hull's here - it is him - and welcome to his all new, Pink Fist Of Fun show.
That's right, he's back with his own show! Yeah, you're beautiful!

Rich & Stew burst in on him & reclaim their show using the subtle ploy of telling him there is a jelly tasting evening at the Ritz Hotel. The lure of jelly is too strong for Rod & he's off to the Ritz, leaving Lee & Herring to finish the series themselves.

Rich wastes no time in telling Stew he's fed up with his insistence on wanting the moon on a stick, So he's got him the moon on a stick. But it isn't the moon on a stick, as Stew points out, it's a big piece of cardboard painted to look like the moon. On a stick.
"Oh," says Rich, "So you want the moon on a stick."
"Yes"
"See"
"No, I don't want the moon on a stick, all I'm saying is that if I wanted the moon on a stick - which I don't - I would want the moon on a stick, not this piece of cardboard/paper moon stick thing."
"Well what am I going to do with it now?"
"I dunno, give it to the poor children or something."

Simon Quinlank is up next, with something to do when you've finished doing hobbies for the day. This hobby is called "Seeing how long you can go without doing a hobby." You must empty your mind of all hobbies, and time how long it is before you find yourself doing a hobby. It is only 28 seconds before Simon finds himself inadvertently doing the rubbing of a vicar's arse. Remember, you must not drink your weak lemon drink, as drinking weak lemon drink constitutes taking part in a hobby.

Back to the Studio, and Rich is appalled that Stew is smoking on television. What if Maurice Mitchener is watching?

But Stew points out that, as intelligent viewers will note, they are taking very different views on the issue of smoking. Stew is pro, while Rich is anti. And this is just one of the many contrived differences they have created in order to become a successful comedy double act. Stew doesn't even like smoking - but he has to do it for the double act to work.
Look at Stew's grumpy, cornish curmudgeonly face - and compare that to Rich's happy face - always ready with a cheeky grin.

The comparisons grind to a halt however, as Stew "bagsies" being heterosexual, forcing Rich into a corner. Rich fights back by suggesting that he could be asexual to counter this.
However, Stew points out that - in practice - he already is. Rich is not happy.

Seahand & Zemquitt, movie producers, are back again, telling us about their latest discovery. This scotch guy had been to see them with an idea for a film called Trainspotting. They liked the idea, but there's got to be a couple of little changes. Change the Scotch guy to an American guy, don't make him a trainspotter - make him a chef that used to work in the secret service, so he knows martial arts. Instead of him being on Heroin, he's on a train - and instead of fighting his Heroin addiction, he's fighting terrorists. With a swift re titling to "Under Siege 2", you have a much better movie. Or have you?

Peter's back again - for the last time, but he's got a surprise in store. He's making a nice recipe. He's making pasta Marco Polo!
When Rich points out that this isn't right & he shouldn't be making anything nice, Peter stands up to him at last and corrects him "Aaaah, but it is funny."
Pete's got a girlfriend too. and to Rich's horror, she's very attractive. Laura (played by Sally Phillips) is Italian and has seen Peter on TV in Italy, where he does an advert for Clorets under the name "Mr Stinky." When she bumped into him in Maston News on Bedford Hill, it was love at first sight.
Pete dumps his now unwanted friends with Rich & heads off with his new love.

The two very different teachers are back again, and it's the end of term. While Mr Kennedy is dishing out beer & babycham to his class, Mr Harris is looking forward to his Easter Quiz. His class aren't.
Mr Kennedy, after hitting on the more attractive members of his class (played by a young Kelly Brook in an un credited cameo), heads down the pub with some female members of staff.

Mr Harris is feeling dejected, and the ladies from the art department persuade Mr Kennedy to invite him along. So he does, but invites him to a completely different pub where he sits on his own waiting for companions that will never arrive. Still, the marking must be done.

Rich & Stew now come to wrap the show, and the series, up but are interrupted by Rod Hull.
He's been to the Ritz, and there was no jelly to be found.

How dare they treat Rod Hull like that! Well, as Stew points out, they wouldn't treat Rod Hull like that - but he isn't the real Rod Hull. Rod protests, but Stew brings on the evidence; The real Rod Hull, who goes on to prove that the Rod Hull that's been invading the show for the past five weeks is not really Rod Hull, but an imposter

Rod Hull (the real one) is clearly very much into the joke, throwing Lee & Herring catchphrases around ("You want to be me? You want to be? You want the moon on a stick!") and is obviously loving every minute of it. As the false Rod is banished, the real Rod goes on to reprimand Rich & Stew for being juvenile, and offensive towards him. Rich apologises before Rod goes on to demand his jelly, because he luuurrvess jelly! He is Rod Hull and he luuuurves jelly! Rod leaves the set, leaving the audience safe in the knowledge that he is Rod Hull, and the series - and, indeed, fist of fun - is over.