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"Live
At The Cochrane" was Rich & Stew's first (& sadly
- also last) video release. Riding the wave of popularity from the
first series of the television version of "Fist Of Fun",
the duo took to the road to take their "unique brand of cerebral
juvenilia" to the masses.
Starting the tour at the 1995 Edinburgh Festival, they continued through
to the end of the year, and on the 3rd of September BBC cameras were
sent to film them in action. A brief synopsis of the show follows: |
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Rich
& Stew enter the stage to rapturous applause; "Yeah
yeah, there's no need to be sarcastic..."
Stew begins by vocalising his dissatisfaction with the microphones
they've been given for this show, normally they have really discreet
radio mics, but they've broken - only to be replaced with these
huge ugly ones that make you look like Captain Scarlet. Predictably,
Rich likes them for that same reason and points out that David
Baddiel used a microphone similar to this when he performed at
Wembley Arena with Rob Newman. Seems he's already wound Stew up,
not least because Lee & Herring are already suffering lazy
journalistic comparisons to the early 90s double act, and now
Rich is publicly delighted to be sharing a similar microphone
to one of them.
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A
bit of banter and an explanation of the Fist Of Fun format for
the uninitiated leads into a few fictional announcements for the
audience, before Rich recounts the events of the last week, but
unfortunately mistakes a week in his life with the computer game
super mario brothers. Some Somerset-baiting from Stew is brought
on by Rich's witlessness. After hearing about Stewart's weekend
of alcohol & drug-fueled debauchery, Rich counters by branding
Stewart, and anyone else who takes drugs, as "a twat".
A
variant on the contrived differences routine that would later
appear in series two, show six
leads nicely into the show's first natural break, as Peter takes
the stage with some lifestyle ideas.
Simple
summer fries is first on the menu, followed by Pork Slush Puppies,
before Peter decides to try some dog food...
Next up, here's a brilliant way to start the day......BEER!
This gets a large cheer, taking Peter somewhat by surprise; "I
didn't know there was anyone sadder than me".
For dessert, why not try making some Balham Rock? Just get a packet
of Extra Strong Mints, write "BALHAM" on each of them
& stick them all back together!
"Peter's
Guide To Balham" round things off before Lee & Herring
reclaim the stage.
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The
next topic Stew wants to talk about is the topic of sex, and there's
no reason we can't talk about the subject in a mature & civilised
way. Apart from one, Richard Herring. He even saw a bare lady once,
but hasn't had a serious relationship for three years.......for
some reason. Stew finds this interesting, when you consider that
a mayfly, a small, unpleasant fly, can find a mate in it's tiny
lifetime of three hours and yet Rich still hasn't had a girlfriend
in 3 years. Rich counters by explaining that he is, of course, more
choosy than a fly - before eventually admitting his indiscretion
with a fly one new years. "And it's quite good, actually"
says Rich, "Because a gnat's
chuff is - quite literally - as tight as a gnat's chuff."
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Time
now for hobby correspondent Simon Quinlank, who takes a confused
Cochrane audience through his "Proving That Simon Quinlank
Is The King Of All Hobbies Hobby". This involves photocopying
Quinlank's face & making a mask of it before forcing a petrified
Jarvis Cocker-a-like out of the audience & onto the stage
to assist him. You can view this hobby
in the fist of fun book - here.
As
the demented hobbyist leaves the stage, Rich & Stew return
to talk about the books they've been reading. They are accounts
of former hostages John McCarthy & Brian Keenan, "Some
Other Rainbow" & "An Evil Cradling" respectively.
Between them, the duo demonstrate how the same situation can be
told from two very different perspectives as they read extracts
of McCarthy & Keenan's books about their hostage situation.
The
Gall-Ery is up next, floating in from the sky, and bringing forth
such wonders as the last page of the book that Dave Moore's ex-girlfriend
is currently reading, a picture of Michael Aspel with a duck on
his lap, a collage of Rich & Stew's showbiz enemy Patrick
Marber juggling the severed heads of Rich & Stew, and a photo
of a woman & a dog found within a book bought from a second
hand store. The last part of the gallery is presented solo by
Stewart, and is a postcard detailing a dog & two kittens playing
piano. Stew spends far longer than is strictly necessary deconstructing
the image to great effect. You
can hear an MP3 of his theories by clicking here.
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As
Rich & Peter return to the stage, Lee & Herring turn to
the final subject of the evening, religion, This gives way to the
pantomime-reminiscent "Jesus Behind You" sketch, which
first appeared on the radio incarnation of "Fist Of Fun",
featuring Jesus running around in the background, mocking Stewart
and behaving childishly (Rich: "He's showing you his pants!
Jesus is showing you his pants!") while Stew denounces his
existence. Coincidentally enough, every time Stew turns round -
Jesus isn't there. Written off as Richard's imagination. As it goes,
Jesus was just hiding.
Finally
spotted by Stew, 'Jesus' comes clean & admits that he wasn't
the real Jesus after all, but is in fact Simon Quinlank performing
his "helping Jesus to be omnipresent" hobby, remember
- if you see more than one Jesus in any one place, it's just one
of his helpers helping him out through a busy
period.
Stew is quick to point out that he's simply confused Jesus of
Nazareth with Father Christmas, but Quinlank doesn't like this
and counters with his "Telling a celebrity you think
they are really good and asking for their autograph when in reality
you think they are rubbish, and when they give you their autograph
you rip up their autograph in front of their astonished minor
television celebrity faces."
Fairly self-explanatory really, and Rich & Stew fall for it.
This
brings the show to a close, and as Kevin Eldon & Peter Baynham
are brought back for the final bows, the credits begin to roll.
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