They're back! A new theme tune, a new set, and a new joke in episode four. Stew reveals his luddite tendencies, declaring that he doesn't like change, while Rich is embracing it. Rich goes as far as comparing the new series to the regeneration of Colin Baker to Sylvester McCoy in Dr. Who, which as Stew points out, was a brief excitement followed by disappointment, shame & regret.
This first show draws heavily on material from the "Love" episode of Lionel Nimrod's Inexplicable World, as it is the week of St. Valentines' Day.
St. Valentine, of course, being the patron saint of making sad and lonely single people feel like shit. Stew wishes he was going out with someone because, as he points out, it's quite cold at the moment and it would make a difference. Rich wonders what's going on. He thought Stew was seeing someone.
A pre-recorded insert explains everything. It illustrates Stew's deep, and forbidden love for a kitten. Called Simon.
Stew been playing with behind the owner's back. An odd sketch by Lee & Herring standards. Surreal, but undeniably silly, which is always a good start.
Peter's back for the second series too, sponsored by Maston News, 22 Bedford Hill, Balham, and provides a couple of recipes for meat-based drinks.
First up is "Beef Pop" - Some Oxtail Soup with a couple of alka-seltzers dropped in. Alternatively you could try getting some frozen sausage meat, mashing it up with an old boot before putting all the bits in a big glass with some water for "Pork Slush Puppies".
If you, like Peter, didn't get any Valentines cards this year (or ever), you can always convert any normal post accordingly. Pete's Stuck an ace of hearts playing card which he found on a cat's hand onto a disconnection notice from British Gas. Or you could always buy a pig's heart from a butchers and take it to a photo booth for a mini valentines postcard.
Pete reminds us of Donny Oddlegs' untimely demise and introduces us to his new friend, Alan Milk-Carton-Body which is the head of an action man attached to a milk carton. With some "balloons" attached for arms & legs. Lovely.

After Pete contributes a couple of home-made mint recipes, Rich goes on to complain that he doesn't want to be here. It's Friday night, he shouldn't be working. He should be at home watching telly. There's some good stuff on tonight. Stew points out that he is on telly himself, tonight.
However, Rich soon admits that what he's really upset about is that they're missing the new channel 4 girly chat show "Babe-O-Rama" and so they dip into channel 4 to see what it's all about. A brief spoof of "The Girlie Show" follows (Channel 4 had been hyping it for months, and it started broadcasting that night too...) and makes everyone realise that they're not missing much after all. A bit like the genuine show that it was parodying, then.

Simon Quinlank takes over next with his hobby for this week. To partake in the hobby king's latest offering you will need some bourbon biscuits, a Vera Lynne record, or cassette, a flask of weak lemon drink & a lockable room. That's right, this week we're going "Old Man Collecting".
To perform this hobby. you must lure as many old men as you can find to your lockable room - using bourbon biscuits or recordings of Vera Lynne as bait. The weak lemon drink is for drinking while waiting for the old men to hove into view.
On return to the Studio, Stew tells us that in Spain the word "Hamon" has the dual meanings of "Love" & "Meat", which could explain why on a recent holiday to Spain, he bought a packet of sausages off a Catalonian transsexual, and spent far more time in the butcher's shop than his itinerary had allowed for. Rich reminds us that celebrities feel love to, and to discuss the issue of "celebrities in love", we welcome on star of Emu's Pink Windmill Show, Rod Hull.

Enter Rod Hull, insistent on the fact that he is Rod Hull, he explains that he loves jelly.
In a sketch that combines Kevin Eldon's ludicrously bad Rod Hull impression and a Lionel Nimrod routine that originally featured Peter Baynham in love with spaghetti, Rod declares his love for jelly that knows no bounds & manifests itself in a way that another man may love his wife. He loves jelly deeply, and wishes to marry it.
Presented with his jelly, Rod has difficulty eating it due to his disconcertingly limp right arm, but runs off screaming jubilantly nonetheless.

As Rich & Stew reclaim the show, Stew accuses Rich of being unfit to present a show about love. He doesn't even know what love is. Rich proves this point by going on to confuse love with a moth, after quoting 70's sitcom "Butterflies" theme, "Love is like a butterfly". He digs himself deeper when he proclaims that love is like a tapeworm.

Love leads, almost always, to marriage & the show leads to Richard's "village of the married" sketch in which he calls on all his recently married male friends, only to find that they have been brainwashed & turned into zombies that are completely under the thumb. The women manifest themselves as crazy puppeteers of the man zombies & they all chase after Rich, cornering him! And then he wakes up! Aaaaaaahhhh!

Rich & Stew then launch their own "Illegal Lottery", This is how it works, take the money you wish to gamble on the Fist Of Fun lottery, stick it in an envelope and send it to them. The winner is the person who sends the most money in, and will win 50% of the total money received. 25% will go to opera singer Luciano Pavarotti, as he is a national treasure that should be preserved, apparently. The remaining 25% will go to Rich & Stew. In a satire of the lottery.
Remember, the more money you send - the more you satirise the gullible British public. You.