this morning with richard not judy
THIS MORNING WITH RICHARD NOT JUDY SERIES TWO, SHOW NINE - BROADCAST 30th May 1999 - WATCH ONLINE
SERIES TWO - SHOW 1 | SHOW 2 | SHOW 3 | SHOW 4 | SHOW 5 | SHOW 6 | SHOW 7 | SHOW 8 | SHOW 9 | SHOW 10 | BACK
Don't know about complaints. We got a decent 0.7 million for Sunday and then a disappointing, but predictable 0.7 million for the TUESDAY repeat.
1) Presig: Cricket - just another little dig at the Beeb.
2) Lord of the dance settee - a little reference to the last series for stalwart fans!
3) Bra Gazing - last minute addition to the script, as we'd had to cut the Christian Church crawling routine as it was felt it would offend Catholics. See rehearsal script for script (unless you'll be offended, then don't look).
4) Corrs' Irish Wonderland - we'd had a go at all the other home nations, and so this week it was the turn of the Oirish, along with our traditional dig at Brad Pitt's Irish accent. He should take lessons from me. Everyone in Ireland seemed to understand what we were getting at. We'll try and come and do a gig over there one of these days.
5) Lettuce: Drugs - She was meant to be on drugs, not what you thought. Here's the script:
9) SALAD DRESSING - TO BE FILMED
TITLES ETC. THIS WEEK'S TITLE "A DRESSING DOWN"
POP MUSIC OFF - SOMETHING UPBEAT AND TRIPPY BY THE ULTIMATE SPINACH. MUM AND DAD LETTUCE KNOCKING AT A BEDROOM DOOR WITH PICTURES OF LETTUCES WITH FUNNY HAIR AND GUITARS STUCK TO IT.
DAD Emmy! What's going on in there!
MUM Open this door this instant!
DAD That's it. We're coming in.
HE RUSHES THE DOOR.
INT. EMMY'S ROOM. BEDROOM REDRESSED WITH POSTERS OF LETTUCES WITH FUNNY POP HAIR AND GUITARS, MAYBE A LITTLE RECORD PLAYER GOING ROUND. DIM TEENAGE LIGHTING. SMOKE. EMMY IS LYING UNDERNEATH THE MOUTH OF A LONG THIN MAYONNAISE JAR AND THE MAYONNAISE IS DRIPPING ON HER. C/U. SHE MOANS IN ECSTACY.
EMMY Ooooh! There are peas coming out of my face!
MUM/DAD Oh my God!
MUM AND DAD FAINT
CTW - FEINTED LETTUCE AND MAYONNAISE DRIPPING ONTO WRITHING EMMY.
6) GM Foods - remarkably back in the news (we'd done this material at the try outs before Christmas, thought we'd put it in this show anyway and then Prince Charles makes his comments, making us look ultra topical!).
7) Pat Robertson - easy target, but such fun to knock down, the twat.
8) Histor: God - This turned out really great. Paul was filming his sit-com when we filmed it, so Emma stepped in, but we thought it might be fun to still use Paul's voice. Stu came up with the "Curse me God" line as we were dubbing it, which really makes the sketch I think.
9) Trev and Nathalie - Trev's death was short-lived, as he was back doing the prediction board later. The lamb banana was a little tribute to the statue like that in Liverpool. I messed up the onion/chewing gum thing so you couldn't really see it coming out.
10) Quinlank: 11 O'Clock Show - the best Quinlank of the series, largely thanks to Kev's ad libs ("shut up" - genius) and I think he made up the cat wee thing too. We'd always found the 11 o clock show pranks a bit week, as they seemed to be mocking people for being helpful and polite, so that's where the idea came from. Kev put in a fine performance this week, so hats off to him. Go on. Hats off.
11) Shepherd disappointment - we were going to have some skateboarders in with a guy who looks after them (shepherds them) but the man couldn't make it to the studio, so instead a pie. Weak.
12) Food and Milk - we had to film this one outside as when we were trying to record it in the kitchen we used for the others the lady who owned the house (who was a Christian) happened to walk in, and insisted we couldn't do it in her house. Which is fair enough. So we did it outside instead with a much bigger statue, which was funnier.
13) Channel 5 shows - When we wrote this we believed the info to be true (that's what my agent had told me). As it turned out when we read the actual letter, the show was actually a cable show, that we were both being asked to guest on. So the whole routine is a lie. (The Flowers Gardens programme is true though). Still don't let the facts get in the way of a good joke!
14) Prince Charles has green fingers - one of the more risque jokes of the series. I slightly fumbled it, but it still worked. Actually the whole show was a bit badly performed, I thought. Stew looked tired and I had terrible diahorreah all weekend. I don't think anyone but us would have noticed, but I don't think it had the usual spark. I don't care though. Due to my illness I lost half a stone in 5 days. That's a result, my friends.
15) Curious Alien / Orange - we filmed the fight ages ago (we had planned for it to go in show 6), but then the alien seemed to have so much potential and Paul was away filming so we held on to it til now. You may notice I am actually wearing a different shirt in the pre-filmed bit. I think I may have accidentally taken the other one home as a replacement for the one I was wearing when we did the Robbie/alien love scenes. The fight was a tribute to Godzilla films
16) Blues Brothers 2000 - filmed in the same location that we did Braveheart. Just a little dig (dig geddit) at the bad taste of reviving the Blues Brother format. Probably unfair, but then Dan Akroyd has become so rubbish recently. The boy in the back of the car got a bit nervous and didn't want to dance, but it looks better that way.
17) Nostradamus - we enjoyed the idea of Nosty being in other locations. Was I angry with Nostradmaus for being a man really or with myself for not being able to control my feelings?
18) Fruit Song - Paul messed up the words so they became "William Tell got shot by an apple." But that's probably funnier anyway! No-one will ever know what happened between the orange and the alien.