Fist Of Fun
SHOW 01 - BROADCAST 12th October 1993 | Recorded @ The Pleasance Theatre, Edinburgh
Lee & Herring return with their own show. "Lee & Herring's Fist Of Fun." Starting off with a re-working of the intro to Ice-T's "Home Invasion" album, the tone is set from the very beginning.
Juvenile. Silly. Clever. Funny.
This, Stew tells us, is "a comedy show which, like most others takes, a broadly topical & wryly humourous look at what's going on in the crazy world around us each week. But with the original comedy twist of coming from the blinkered perspective of two emotionally Stewnted & slightly odd blokes in their 20s who live in separate, but equally unpleasant rented accommodation in South London, have no proper jobs or interests. Never read newspapers & watch a lot of daytime television, and therefore have no real idea of what's going on in the real world at all."
Rich goes on to talk about the Ice-T intro, comparing himself to Ice-T, by telling us how much he can relate to the controversial LA Gangsta rapper's lyrics.
Deciding to run the show as an "Edinburgh Festival Special" due to the BBC making them record a topical show two months before transmission, Rich & Stew discuss their activities since they've been up here. Rich hasn't been doing much, just playing his Gameboy - and visiting the local Virgin Megastore to buy some new games. Proper culture here!
Stew recounts the stress he suffered shortly before traveling north for the festival, brought about by the financial & creative pressures of creating a successful show every year. Motivated by tension, Stew recounts a night circling his buff metallic 1971 Tan Morris Marina around London's Elephant & Castle, shouting "Damn you, Damn you all to hell" at the imaginary disease carrying rats with the faces of all the other standup comedians in Britain."
When Stew reveals he got pulled over by the police for doing so, Rich decides to recreate the events of the night with the help of a policeman. He and Rich proceed to point out the inadeqecies of Stewart's answers, which were provided with unwavering honesty, reminding him that the police dislike honesty - as it confuses them.
"Is this your car sir?" "Yes".
"Have you been drinking sir?" "No."
"Do you take drugs sir?" "Yes. Yes, I do."
Peter (note, still billed as Peter Baynham in the radio incarnation..) is introduced next, and kicks off his lifestyle section of the show.
Peter starts off with one of his most famous recipes..."Simple Summer Fries", which involves a bag of frozen oven chips, and a bowl.
After recounting the benefits of befriending & having a good relationship with your newsagent (as he supplies all your ingredients...)
Peter goes on to demonstrate his unique recipe for "Instant Trifle";
Slice of mighty white
Half of a Mr. Kipling custard slice
Tablespoon of jam
Swig of sherry
Chew up the mighty white, but don’t swallow.
Do the same with the custard slice
Add a tablespoon of jam to your mouth
Then add the swig of sherry to your mouth
Handing back to Rich & Stew, talk swings swiftly to the topic of sex, and Stew ponders how a mayfly, a small, unpleasant fly, can find a mate in it's tiny lifetime of three hours and yet Rich still hasn't had a girlfriend in 25 years. Rich counters by explaining that he is, of course, more choosy than a fly - before eventually admitting his indiscretion with a fly one new years. "And it's quite good, actually" says Rich, "Because a gnat's chuff is - quite literally - as tight as a gnat's chuff."
Desperate to find a real girlfriend, Rich tells how - while up in Edinburgh - he ventured towards the "Comput-O-Date-O O-Link-O-Date-O" on Princes' Street.
He is paired off, to his surprise, with Alan Stevens and enjoys a night out quoting Monty Python, playing video games, listening to Ice-T & drinking.
Maybe Rich has finally found his soul mate.
Returning to the Studio, and venturing into their occasional "real world" spot. Rich refers to this Radio 1 advert, issued in the Guardian in June 1993:
"Applications are invited for the post of controller of Radio One.
Applicants must have a broad knowledge of the music business & a direct understanding of the 16-35 year old audience. The renumeration package for this appointment will be negotiable. Applications to Chris Storey, Room 4091, Broadcasting House" having read that both Steve Wright & Simon Bates had applied for the post, Rich & Stew decided to apply themselves, after all - they're on Radio One now!
They both wrote in their applications, and, unsurprisingly, both are rejected. "Ah Well", offers Richard, "Remember the story of the Tortoise & The Hare."
Incensed, Stew sets about redressing the balance with the first of his "True Fables". Retelling "The Tortoise & The Hare" as "The Tortoise &
The Man", pointing out that the tortoise had failed to grasp that the race, or even the man, existed at all.
He concludes, correctly, that a if a man were to race against a tortoise, the man would win. And if you haven't the time to race against a tortoise, you could just turn it on it's back, and it will just die.
Back to Peter again now, for the second of his natural breaks. This time he has tips for entertaining, incase you have someone coming over like - for instance - your brother Charlie. So, follow Peter's advice, on the way home - pick up some chips, eat them, and put the telly on.
Peter then recounts a number of ways to entertain yourself on your own.
At the end of the show, the performers climb into their big comedy bed together.
With Rich & Stew this week have been Alistair MaGowan, Rebecca Front & Peter Baynham.