Rich & Stew burst out of their crates and into the second episode of their new BBC2 comedy show. Or at least, that's what's supposed to happen. In fact, Rich's box has been confused for a big wooden crate full of crockery.
This initial mistake now rectified, Rich joins Stew onstage, and instantly recognizes him as "Stewart Lee, off of the telly!". Stew points out that Rich has seen him in his house every day for the last nine years, and that Rich too is now on the telly, but this doesn't deter his overawed enthusiasm

Rich then proudly displays a cutting from the previous week's Radio Times, showing a picture of the two of them, and announces how his mother - a teacher at Blackfield Middle School in Somerset - had held it up to her class to impressed reactions. More Somerset baiting from Stew ensues, as he points out that the children would have been impressed with anything that Rich's mum showed them, because they are - after all - from Somerset.

Peter tells us that he's found a new stain, and Rich & Stew reveal that even top TV celebrities need hobbies, going on to tell the viewing public of Bill Oddie's secret love of spying on birds, and his perversions that come hand in hand with it - thus bringing a new meaning to the phrase "bird-fancying".

Up next is a brief documentary on the phenomenon of "Urban Man", showing how some men live on the streets in nothing but their pants.
Underlining how these creatures may provide a charming reminder of the natural world to city dwellers, but to the country population they are little more than pests. A "blipvert" is screened here offering the urban men's pants to any viewers desperate enough to request them. People actually wrote in.
Back to the Studio now, and Stew brings the first of his diatribes against culture thief Patrick Marber to the fore - which probably made little sense at the time to a large percent of the audience - as he recounts a night circling his buff metallic 1973 Hillman Avenger around London's Elephant & Castle, shouting "Damn you, Damn you to hell Patrick Marber".
When Stew reveals he got pulled over by the police for doing so, Rich decides to recreate the events of the night with the help of a policeman, and Stew's car. John Thompson pops up again as the policeman, and he and Rich proceed to point out the inadequacies of Stewart's answers, reminding him that the police hate sarcasm even more than they hate crime.

This is followed by something of a surreal sketch by Lee & Herring's standards, as a number of vicars are auditioned by Rich & Stew, in character as Bishops (see left). Amongst the auditioning vicars is an embryonic incarnation of Kevin Eldon's "Unusual Priest", who would later become a regular fixture on This Morning With Richard Not Judy.
Peter then returns for this week's natural break, and shares his recipe for "Milk being sucked through twiglets", which involves a pint of milk, and some twiglets. Fairly self-explanatory really.
He then steps up a gear & goes all technical on us, and shows the audience how to make a word processor!
All you need for this, is an old broken child's typewriter from the Cancer Research Shop in Balham High Road, some string - and a television tuned to teletext. As simple as that. And if you want to print anything out, all you need to do is write the words from the screen onto some paper, and there you have it - Scottish Weather View!
Rich then crows about his massive collection of Easter Eggs and gives one of them to an old lady in the audience to prove his generosity, and not because he read in the bible that good deeds are rewarded tenfold, like you thought.
This enrages Stew to the point of re-enactment & here comes a trademark Lee & Herring retelling of biblical times.
Stew plays the "Good Man" who is so good and nice that he receives a letter from Jesus informing him that he will be visited and rewarded. Overjoyed at this news, the biblical Stew lays out a feast for the holy man - but he doesn't arrive, instead Stew is diStewrbed by a number of ailing individuals. And TV's Annabelle Giles. But he has to turn them away from his door as he is expecting Jesus' visit. The next morning, Jesus (portrayed by impressionist Alistair MaGowan) arrives.

Initially, Stew is worried about him, but worry soon turns to anger when it transpires that Jesus was, in fact, in disguise as all the needy people the night before. "Aaah, but I did come - you did not recognize me when I called."
We learn from this story that Jesus actually thinks it's funny to dress up as sick, ill people & mess other people about. Jesus' only response to these accusations, however, is a smug, self-satisfied, "Aaaah". For this, he is kicked out of Stew's biblical home, and given a slap. (but the slap was cut for broadcast by BBC executives.)

Back again to the Studio, where Stew begins to explain the viewing public that being a stand-up comedian is the loneliest job in the world. Rich immediately corrects him and together, they establish that the loneliest job in the world was believed to be John Tracey, of Thunderbirds fame, who was positioned in space to monitor all of Earth's movements, but was in fact that of John's deformed brother Ian Tracey who was kept away from the world in a locked cupboard under the stairs, or Thunderbird 11 as Ian was told it was called.
Richard then informs us all that comedy is a "bitch magnet" before Stew points out that the polarity of his bitch magnet appears to have been reversed, and wonders if it's been dropped, or left in a strong electro-magnetic field. Rich asks Pete if he has any advice on women.
Unsurprisingly he doesn't, so Rich & Stew begin to wrap up the show, but are interrupted by the old woman from earlier who presents Richard with a giant Easter egg, thus rewarding his earlier generosity tenfold. Which obviously, was not something Rich had planned. Was it?
Stew gets nothing, so they wrap the show & climb back into their crates.