Fist Of Fun
SHOW 04 - BROADCAST 3rd November 1993 | Recorded @ Queens University, Belfast
This week, Fist of Fun - a rag-bag of half-thought out ideas written in the small hours of last night by two uninformed men who live in South London & rarely venture out of the house for fear of missing an unscheduled episode of "Going For Gold" - contains added arm twisting, watch out for that.
Stew wastes no time in teasing Rich for his Somerset upbringing, after Rich relays his mother's fear for his traveling to Belfast.
Stew's take on the Robert The Bruce legend provides a running gag for this show, first heard before Rich announces that this week is Radio One's "Bodily Awareness Week", he seems particularly excited about that - and introduces the naked man, and naked woman from page 14 of his school's science text book.
John Thompson & Ronni Ancona voice the naked man and naked woman - who would later appear in the Fist Of Fun book.
This discussion on the differences between men & women prompts Stew to tell of his recent experience with Claudette, a French au pair he met on the tube recently. In anticipation of an exotic euro-romance, Stew breaks up with his long-term girlfriend and embarks on his new relationship.
Strange how your judgment goes to the wall when you're asked out by an attractive French woman you hardly know, but on the plus side, at least he never has to see his ex-girlfriend's mother again, as she was a horrible, evil, scheming old bitch....
Ah well - time for Peter's bit now - and this week he's telling us about fizzy curryade - the juice left over from a beef curry, with a couple of fenziqs dropped in it.
Another idea - take one OXO cube, and eat it.
As for going out and having a drink, Pete suggests a trip to the off licence - buy a few cans & drink them in there! It's not as crowded as the pub, and you can lean on the counter & talk to the man behind the till.
His main recipe is for "Practical Pasta" which involves a minimum of fuss, simply put a bit of pasta in your mouth, wait for it to soften from the saliva, and then eat.
Handing back to Rich & Stew, Stew tells us about his photographic memory, but there's a problem - his is an amateur photographic memory, and unfortunately most of his memories are blurred, and he's lost many childhood memories, due to leaving a lens cap on his face.
The break up of Michael Winner's relationship gets a brief mention, before Peter's return.
If you want to eat out, perhaps to celebrate, then it might be worth practicing by going into a furniture shop and sitting at one of the tables they have in the window.
Don't forget to tip when you do it for real though, but Peter's too poor to tip properly. If he's in McDonald's or somewhere nice, he'll tip them in chips!
There's a True Fable up next, as Stew Re-Tells "Goldilocks & The Three Bears" as "Goldilocks & The Three Men". John Thompson, Peter Baynham & Richard Herring portray the three men who live together in a cottage in the woods out of of sight of other people in an effort to save on rent & basic living expenses.
With the story retold, Stew points out that if a small child wanders off in some woods on her own, the chances are someone will find her, and help her - even in this cynical day and age.
Rich & Stew then wrap up the show, and invite the assembled cast into their big comedy bed!
With Rich & Stew this week have been the actor, John Thompson, Ronni Ancona & Peter Baynham.