That Was Then,This Is Now
SERIES ONE Show Two - Broadcast 9th October 2004
Rich opens the second show in his new series with a George Bernard Shaw quote
"all we learn from history is that we learn nothing from history"
Thereby demostrating that we do learn things from history & that he was a big beardy idiot.
Explaining that he was chosen to present this show because he studied modern history at Oxford University, Rich acknowledges that he knows all too well that history isn't sexy.
That's why he's enlisted a Rock n Roll band in his enduring mission to make it so.
Please welcome Christian Reilly & The Entente Cordials!
This week in history:
6th Oct 1829 - Stevenson's Rocket is the first train on the Liverpool to Manchester railway
3d Oct 1935 - Italy invades Abysinnia
Welcome this week's historical expert - Brian O'Green, a nerdy, geeky quiz champ who is here to help Rich in his quest to prove that history is sexy.
His first attempt involves 9th October 1939 - Macmilan won a third consecutive victory for the tories, but is greeted with silence.
"See?" counters Christian, there is nothing sexy about history whatsoever.
Brian O'Green disagrees. He thinks the Nazis were sexy!
Rich isn't appreciative of contentious comments like this. He's already told Brian that he could only be on the show if he didn't talk about Nazis or Star Trek. He's been warned. Nothing more about them for the rest of the show!
OK, let's talk about this instead - on the 4th Oct 1582, the Gregorian calender was brought into place to make up for discrepancies in the dating system, but Rich wants to find out if that was really true, so delves a little deeper on the subject in a section of the show called "What Reeeeeeally Happened?"
After that's all been cleared up, it's time for TV's Emma Kennedy & her Births, Deaths & Marriages spot:
Birth - 9th Oct would have seen John Lennon's 64th birthday
Death - 9th Oct 1988 - Felix Wankle, inventor of the Wankle Rotary engine passed away.
Marriage - 8th wedding anniversary for Clark Kent & Lois Lane - 6th Oct 1996
Emma hasn't learnt from last week, and once again attempts a lazy joke - this time at the expense of the supposed sexual inadequacies of Clark Kent - aka Superman, a fictional superhero.
Rich won't stand for this and shouts her down once again, branding her a Mawkish termigant and sending her on her way.
Time now for a song by Christian & The Entente Cordials - this week in 1990, Great Britain entered the exchange rate mechanism, an activity that was described - amongst other things - as "hectic" a word Christian has always wanted to get into a song title, so here is this weeks' song - "Trading Was Hectic".
Now, Brian attemtps to introduce "Conspiracy Corner" but Rich isn't happy about that. All conspiracy theories are rubbish.
Brian, predictably, disagrees. He believes he's seen a pattern of deaths. With lots of people dying during this week in history. Going back hundreds of years.
He has 2 theories to explain this.
Theory 1 - a bizarre time delay suicide pact
Theory 2 - some sort of immortal time travel serial killer, like off of highlander.
Unimpressed, Rich asks if there are any verifiable stories Brian has encountered. The best he can manage is that on 9th October 1983 Helen Moss joined the Brownies - she was 83!
October was a very busy month for Henry Ford.
In 1908 he made his first model T Ford and in 1913 he introduced the world's first assembly line
According to Brian - Henry Ford also invented the charcoal brickette.
Ford was, of course, famous for his sense of humour & hilarious one liners.
A reputation that Rich is not entirely sure is deserved.
A Sketch illustrating Ford's amusing "any colour as long as it's black" witticism follows, beating him into submission with the use of sense & logic.
This week saw the 115th anniversary of the opening of the legendary Moulin Rouge.
To take a look at this, please welcome Madelaine LeBlanc - one of the original dancers is in the studio. She is 136.
Dancing has kept her young, or so she thinks. Rich disagrees, comparing her more to a randy Galápagos tortoise.
Undeterred, she attempts a strip tease for Rich. It would appear that his plans for making history sexy have backfired somewhat. Last week Christian got Joanna Thompson and this week Rich has Madelaine.
As the rest of the cast head back to Christian's to watch Star Trek on laser disc, Rich tries to fend off her geriatric advances.