That Was Then,This Is Now
SERIES THREE Show Three - Broadcast 13th December 2007
Welcome to the 15th episode of TWTTIN!
Its the History based comedy show for people who still laugh at the words "Elizabeth Regina". Rich begins by insulting his audience, claiming that monkeys have more intelligence than them
He is reduced to puerile double entendres, it is pathetic. Rich is disgusted with the audience & himself
Luckily, there's a house band to raise the tone, it's Christian Reilly & The Sodomites
Rich clumsily attempts to chat up Christian, before cutting his losses & moving on with the show, telling us that on 9th December 1994 - we all had a near miss with a meteorite.
To find out more about this, welcome Sir David Spiers - the worlds 2nd best astronomer.
The first best astronomer, of course, is huge fat cyclops Patrick Moore. Who'd have thought he is still alive!
It must be frustrating for David being the 2nd best astronomer for all this time - and also the 2nd best Xylophone player, as it happens.
But, of course- it was David that discovered the meteor in 1994, not Moore - and he named it 1994-XM1
Handing over to the band, we learn that on the 9th December 1953 - Frank Sinatra jr was kidnapped - Sinatra Sr paid the ransom & his son was released 3 days later.
And so the band present Frank Jr's kidnapping song..... "I Did It Their Way"
So what else happened this week in history?
On the 10th December 1907, slightly racist poet Rudyard Kipling won the nobel prize for literature, a perfect springboard for Rich's Kipling routing from Someone Like Yoghurt, the origins of which lie in Warming Up - from 26th April 2005
And, on December 9th 1531 the first reported sighting of a vision of the Virgin Mary was recorded, which leads into a "What Reeeeaalllllyyyy Happened?" sketch in which a cheese-crying Virgin Mary appears before a disbelieving Rich.
Paul Clegg is back now, after last week's appearance, and various letters complimenting him.
Seems he made quite an impression on the previous show and is now something of a local celebrity!
Rich didn't want him back, though - finding his material obvious & unoriginal.
But, he's been trying harder this week.....
To kick off, he tells us that this week, 11th december 1620 - The first pilgrims landing on Plymouth rock - and Paul was just thinking, what if they'd landed at Fraggle Rock! Eh? How funny would that have been?
But he hasn't actually written a sketch to go with this thought, it's just musings on this nonsensical wondering, and Rich quite rightly, berates him for his lazy attempts at comedy. Undetterred, Paul wants another go - he's noticed that on the 11th December 1936 - King Edward abdicated to marry Mrs Wallace Simpson, but what if he'd abdicated in order to marry Marge Simpson?
A poor Marge Simpson impression follows, that doesn't work....
Rich quickly points out that his main comedy idea is to replace historical figures or events with figures from childrens' television.
Moving on, did you know it was the birth of Nostradamus this week on 14 December 1503.
But, warns Emma Kennedy - don't you dare malign nostradamus - his prophecies were perfect!
For playing Nostradamus in TMWRNJ, she researched him - and all his prophecies were chillingly accurate.
So, lets have a look at his most famous predictions.
In July 1999 - "The king of terror will come from the skies..."
While Emma attempts to defend the dead Frenchman, Rich takes the unfulfilled prophecy apart.
But wait! A Giant meteor is heading for the earth, but - it's OK, Patrick Moore is in a ship on its way to the meteor to stop it!
He has named it "Sir Patrick Moore's gigantic burning space testicle" and is hoping to stop it hitting the world and killing everyone.
But David Speirs has sabotaged his ship out of jealousy, forcing Moore to simply fly his ship directly into the meteor, saving the world by committing suicide.
This cheers Speirs as he realises he's now finally the 1st best astrologer!
But Wait (again) Sir Patrick has survived, and plays the show out on his xylophone as Sir David curses his place as 2nd best astronomer.